Day 1
Loosing has always been seen as a negative in the general discourse, it is quite a natural thing to do so. But now, for the first time in my life, I have came to a situation where I have to loose partially in order to win the in the long term. I have to loose a battle to win the bigger war. This might seem foolish to many but is necessary at times.
I feel, the shortsightedness and the will to not look defeated puts people into performing foolish plays to win. To somehow pass the test that is put in front of them. This is not the best thing to do.
I want to be more precise about it. I have my semester 2 exams from July 8 and I have done little to no preparation at all. This is not something that I am proud of but I can not keep whining about it. I have decided to tackle this situation with smartness. My plan for now is that, I will skip 2 subjects which are related to Maths out of 7 total subjects that I have and I will focus on non-Maths subjects on this exam. I will fail in 2 subjects which is allowed by my University. I will clear those subjects next year, so my schedule is not disturbed, I will be in the regular batch with some Ls.
A question might arise, why all these olympics instead of simply studying hard and passing all the subjects? This is exactly the will to not look defeated that I was talking about. I am aware of my capabilities, I am aware of the fact that I am not a superhuman who will manage passing the test by starting to learn calculus a week before exam. I better focus on other subjects and make them stronger. If I try to pass maths, I will waste a majority of time in that without harvesting any fruit out of it.
Now, with this comes a big risk, I will be walking on the edge, a mark missed in one subject and I am gone for a year. I have to pass the remaining subjects without fail because there is no safety net, in fact, to be precise I am on the safety net, falling from there will take me straight to the ground.
Apart from the exams, I am not rushing for everything together. I am dwelling in stuff like before but I am reducing the intensity, I am aware that I have to leave it. I am not forcing myself, I am letting the realisation stay there and let it transform into actions. I am taking Ls here too, but in the short term, in this battle, for the bigger war to be mine.
Took an E
Mick Jenkins
Took an A
Took a R
Took a N
Everytime I took a L
These are lines from a featuring artist in the Seedhe Maut’s recent song, very creative and meaningful.