Day 5
I am writing this on the exam day, I have calculus today, I am going to fail. Haww, my career is over, I am so done, it’s the end. lol. So let’s rather write something. Starting from the notion that I am failing today’s exam, I am not worried about it, it’s a calculated move, taking some Ls now to win in longer run. Something that I wouldn’t have been able to process if it was not for Rap music.
I have been a fan of Rap / Hiphop since 2016, that’s 8 years as of now. And in this time, there are no instances at which I felt like turning my back towards it. It has been a matter of pride for me to be a part of this. I do not know how much the average individual or even the average hiphop listener thinks about it, but I think of it on a very personal level, on a very deep level.
Apart from Shri Bhagwan, Rap is the biggest influence in my life. It always has been, giving insights to me that were to be learnt through experience or concreting my experiences by metaphor-ising them. I feel Rappers know how to make the most out of an experience, how to squeeze the most perspectives out of an incident.
The first influential piece in my life has to be Farak by Divine Bhai. It was something else. When the first time I heard, I was not able to make sense of why is he talking about his struggles and everyday things in his music, it was way later when I realised the importance of it.
Aata sawera jab jhelega tu ye kaali raatein
Farak, Divine
How simple yet elegant lines. Almost very commonplace knowledge. One might think that I am over romanticising it. But the real value lies in not the words but the experiences that those come from. One naive individual reading this may not think of this as anything extraordinary. But to me and thousands of dhh fans who have been following Divine bhai through his journey and the experiences that he has shared. This is the description, the summary of everything. This defines the hard dark past that he has seen to come to the stage where he is.The magic lies in the buildup. The magic lies in the backstories.
The most attractive thing about Rap music is the honest brutality that it promotes. That has something which has made me fall in love with it again and again. One of the recent examples come from Panther.
Dekha hai bachpan se dekhu jawani mein
Aisi jagah se, Panther
Ending nahi happy hoti hai is kahani mein
Nahi mein Raja hoon na meri Rani hain
Panna hai jaadu aur kalam hairani de
Bade se ghar mein tha pala bada nahi mein
Chhote hum log hain, dil se bada hu mein
Jeans purani kya naya bata du mein
Saadhna karta suro ka hu saadhu mein
Uttar ka suraj mein abhi bas ugaa hi hu
Launde jab karte hate mein ubaasi lu
On the face it is, I wonder how do they manage to be so real. And say things that are not cool to say in the general discourse. Although it is cool in the Hiphop point of view.
And the biggest factor of all this is, the victim mentality that one might expect when talking about their bad experiences, simply doesn’t exist in the Hiphop scene. There is no place for victimisation, atleast in the side of Hiphop that I am invested in. It’s all about the Mindest. It is all about how you take it. And somehow they all have taught me to take things in the most positive way. And if I was not able to at that moment, then to look at those things that happened in the past, in the most positive way.
The over exposure to negativity is one of the factors that stop people from exploring hiphop. I think of them poorly. They maybe too happy in their lala land where there are rainbows everywhere, purple hearts in every comment box and a sweet fragrance in the air. Delusional-ism it is. The harsh reality is that the reality is harsh.
People resort to music in an attempt of escapism. But hiphop amplifies the reality and shove it in to people’s face. That’s why they don’t like it as much. The point the people miss, that hiphop might be trying to make is the harshest reality is folds beautiful than the prettiest delusion.
And that thing, is the best part, the deal breaker for me. Being real. But why? One might ask. Because, delaying the acceptance, the acceptance of truth might result in worse consequences. How do you fix something if you don’t understand that is it broken. And how do you understand it if you never try.
This was something that I realised when I was halfway in my journey. Accept the truth. Because it is the supreme. I always kept running away from my problems, from the facts and from the reality. But gradually, through repetition, bit by bit, that courage was gathered. To accept myself and my surroundings as they are. Not to be comfortable with it. But to tackle it.
And Repetition is the technical part of why hiphop is effective as a conditioner. You might hear the speeches, podcast, read books and what not, to get reality checks. To learn from it. You might learn as well. But you might not be able to retain it. You might not able to callback at important times. But rap, because it is in a musical package. It is iterated again and again. Everyday, everytime. And it might ring in your ears when you need it the most. That is how effective it is. That is how beautiful it is.
To sum it up, as Yungsta once said
Nahi, inko sahi mein kya lag raha hai bhai, inko lag raha hai ye pehli baar ho raha hai mere saath
Hona hi tha, Yungsta
Inhe nahi pata bhai roz sapne mein jeeta hu mein, roz dekhta hu bhai, roz, roz, roz ye zindagi ke baare mein socha hai maine.
To jab yeh ho raha hai na mere saath, mujhe ajeeb nahi lag raha bhai, you know
Abhi ye cheez bhi apni almari mein record kar raha hu bhai rajaiyaan daalke,
But mein khush hu bhai kyuki ek time aisa tha jab mera paas mic bhi nahi tha bhai, almari bhi nahi thi shayad.
Tum samaj rahe ho?
Aajkal gaane likhne bhi nahi padte bhai mereko, zabaan pe aa jate hai apne aap kya bolu, jo hai woh hai.
Koi template rap shit nahi hai, ye khudse banaya hai jo bhi hai
Dehradun, Delhi represent all of that shit
Shoutout jo bhi ye sapna dekhte hai hamara saath
Puri taaqat to my fucking gang
This post not might be the last post I write about this, I will keep writing. Till I feel I have vented out everything about this art, which I might not be able to ever. This is the mentality, Rap mentality. Real mentality. Till that time,
Hiphop till I die.